Caught doing something good

As you can see Benz is a sleepy boy.  The cool thing today is the nurses put his IV meds on a pole instead of on the table behind his bed.  So now we can get him out and about, well as much as we can in a 10x20ft NICU room.  This pic is him laying on the couch tonight.  I know all the wires look bad, but this is him for now.  One measures his heart rate, one measures his respirations per minute, and another his pulse oxygen levels.  His picc line is in his right arm.  I think we will have more fun now that we can get him out to play.  As long as we can keep his biliruban down, he can stay off of the blanket.  We keep seeing and hearing more positive signs from the Docs.  Like passing his hearing and vision tests.  His head size is normal and he seems like a strong little boy. He has been on the medicine now for two weeks.  He is doing OK on it except I think that is what makes him sleepy and it has made his white blood count fall.  If his white blood count falls too low they will stop the medicine until it rises to safer levels.  If after that it falls again they will cut his dose in half.  If it is still too low after the half dose we may have to stop the medicine all together.  So far his levels are just above the acceptable the range and we hope they stay the same or go up.
"You never know how strong you can be, until it is the only option"  I heard that quote somewhere and it is very true.  I don't feel I had the option to be strong or not.  I don't feel I had the option to make good or bad decisions.  Maybe a higher power made them for me?  Maybe it is how I was raised?   Maybe it is me becoming my own man?  My best guess is all the above.  I truly appreciate the kinds words that all of you have said about me.  It may be wrong of me to think this way because to some it comes natural.  But in all that I have been through, in the back of my mind I always ask myself "Am I being a good roll model to my children, nieces/nephews, friends, family, and/or even strangers?"  This is what my dad would call "being caught doing something good"  Basically, this is when you did the right thing instead of the wrong thing (especially when the wrong thing would be so much fun) and then your parents find out about the good choice you made (with out you telling them).  Like, after a football game in high school there was a party I chose not to go to.  Well the party was busted and kids got in trouble.  My dad found out about the good choice I had made (without me telling him) and bought me a new pair of shoes.  My sisters and I tried to make this a common theme in our house.  But being caught doing something good is hard to come by.  So, when ever my sister and I's friends would see us with new shoes they would always say "oh, you got caught doing something good again?  Good for you."
So to close this ramble session.  I may have blown my being caught doing something good by telling you all that I actually do think about being a good role model to all of these people, but it was worth it!
Again, I want to thank you all for everything,
Ben