Fear not

One of my customers once told me that "fear not" or variations of that (need not worry, do not be afraid, etc etc) show up in the bible 365 times.  One for every day of the year.  So there is no reason for me to tell you too.  We are doing well.  I think my dad (pictured above) is even somewhat relaxing.  Its only been 6 days and we are whipped. 
Benzen is doing great.  He gained half an ounce today, which is a lot better than it sounds.  Gaining even that little weight is better than losing or even staying the same.  Its nice that he is such a chill little guy.  He barely makes a peep.  He is off of the photo therapy lights and billy blanket.  What that means is he is eating properly and going to the bathroom properly.  Basically getting rid of the bilirubin left in his system from birth  There are milestones that children will reach that we all take advantage of.  For example Benzen was having trouble feeding and regulating his own body temperature.  I made my first huge mistake as his dad.  I let the doctors get to me.  Because, in my mind I was thinking "maybe where the abnormalities are in the MRI of his brain are his feeding and temperature centers."  I didn't even give him a chance.  Amy by the way had full faith in him the whole way.  With in one day, he was eating great and regulating his own body temperature.  Needless to say I learned from my mistake and it will NEVER happen again.  He is a couple days old and already making me so proud!
Tonight is tough for me.  I am at home.  As much as Benzen needs me, Beyla needs me too.  I loved going through her bedtime routine with her tonight.  We facetimed Amy at the hospital and she was able to watch the whole routine.  Thank you Apple!  It really does feel like this house is missing something.  Our new addition and momma are not here.  Now that I see our house it makes me want him home more.  I don't want to do this but can't help it.  I look around and see the stairway leading to our basement.  Will Benzen have trouble with them?  Are our hallways to narrow or corners to sharp?  Time will tell and just like the feeding and body temperature thing.  Do not underestimate him.
Lastly,  Please take the time to pray for a very close friend of mine and retired pastor of Faith Lutheran Church, Brian Haller.  He is a huge reason I am who I am today.  He is battling cancer.  I can not wait to sit down and have a chat with him.  With the Chemo he is on, it is not a good idea for him to come up to the hospital or be exposed to any outside germs. 
Lastly Lastly, We have received more food, gifts, and gift cards.  You all are amazing!  Betsy - Thank you sooo much for taking charge in the "Baby Benzen" facebook page.  I just found out about this and am truly humbled.  Betsy, how can people find this page?  Not just Betsy though I can't believe all of the love and support.  You are all making the next six weeks so much less stressful for my wife and I.
Lastly Lastly Lastly, if there is anything I can do for anyone reading this.  Let me know.  Here is the part where I give you another "my dad always told me."  my dad always told me to "pay it forward" You guys are all paying it forward for something someone has done for you.  Now that you have done something for me, I am going to pay each prayer, gift, or kind word forward.  You can count on that!
I can't stop writing, so here's a good stopping point.  Mostly because Amy is at the hospital and wants to read this before bed.  I didn't proof read, so pardon any errors.
Good night everybody,
Ben